It's hard to believe it's been two years since my little girl left this world. In many regards it feels like yesterday when she was here, making us all laugh.
I received some wonderful notes and cards from friends saying how they would be keeping us in mind and in prayers this weekend, knowing the anniversary of Holly's passing was today. I didn't know how I would respond; if today would feel different in some way. It doesn't. While time has helped with the frequency of times I have to escape to the corner of my closet for a quick cry, I know, unfortunately, that the heart is very slow to heal even some of the shattered pieces. The heartbroken feeling I experience will not be more noteworthy on an anniversary, but is apart of me now.
I went to mass today and wondered if something would strike a cord on the anniversary and of course it did. The Gospel reading was Mark 5:21-43 and it told the story of when Jesus was approached by Jairus, a man with a 12-year old daughter who was dying and asked Jesus to save her. Jesus visits the home and sees the crowd of mourners outside crying as the girl has already passed. Jesus asks, "Why this commotion and weeping? The child is not dead." Of course Jesus knew we are never dead, we just transform. I know Holly is alive and well in Heaven. The weeping is because I'm human and selfish and want her here, but I know she is fine and I will see her soon.
I suppose this anniversary should be a celebration of the amazing person she was here, how much she did in so little time, how much joy and inspiration she left in her wake. How proud I remain of her today and how much I look forward to the day I can be with her again.